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NicoleS5000

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NicoleS5000

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1930
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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NicoleS5000's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:06pm

NicoleS5000's FML badges

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NicoleS5000's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40354) - you deserved it (8394)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML

#8865322
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29244) - you deserved it (7929)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:31am - intimacy - by ICantBelieveThis - United States (New York)

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

#8801488
219 comments

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

#8800810
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22069) - you deserved it (3323)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:35pm - misc - by ROLLY - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

#8607847
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30380) - you deserved it (1702)

On 02/24/2010 at 1:29am - work - by argh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

#8512491
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10705) - you deserved it (39958)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:16am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

#8169193
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20441) - you deserved it (18279)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27717) - you deserved it (2338)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19414) - you deserved it (4582)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

#8079585
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33289) - you deserved it (5164)

On 02/10/2010 at 2:29am - love - by LoveStruck- - United States

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

#8045354
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46025) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28759) - you deserved it (2371)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

#7724225
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33130) - you deserved it (5615)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:20pm - love - by Twilightsux (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

#7724225
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33130) - you deserved it (5615)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:20pm - love - by Twilightsux (man) - United States



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