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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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NicoleS5000

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NicoleS5000
  • Town/Country : White Plains, New York, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 December 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 542
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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NicoleS5000's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML

#13685830 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (24923) - you deserved it (3187)

On 11/02/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

#13645205 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (30800) - you deserved it (7498)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

#13495901 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (19447) - you deserved it (2492)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:56am - misc - by fmmlll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad gave me a football signed by my favourite football player. It would've been great, except that I saw my dad sign it in front of me. The worst part is that he denies doing it. FML

#13230850 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (18435) - you deserved it (1886)

On 09/28/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by bibobobonnor (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, all the while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

#12624086 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (29583) - you deserved it (2229)

On 08/19/2010 at 11:48am - misc - by feartheend511 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML

#12463713 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (12049) - you deserved it (28797)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had an elderly woman come up to me and tell me how well I pull off the look of being bald. She said that most women can't look attractive without hair. Then she asked me if I had cancer. I had to explain to her that I am, in fact, a man, and I shave my head because I'm a swimmer. FML

#12448497 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (2865)

On 08/11/2010 at 4:10am - health - by Jayswizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

#12226280 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (19221) - you deserved it (4752)

On 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by anon - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (17393) - you deserved it (19823)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How is the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (7725) - you deserved it (74750)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068 (348)

I agree, your life sucks (12501) - you deserved it (49197)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

#12082057 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (17148)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML

#12022109 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (20949) - you deserved it (2584)

On 07/21/2010 at 9:52am - health - by blank - United States

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

#9184901 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (42942) - you deserved it (4389)

On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States

Today, I did my laundry. When I took it out, everything was clean, including the mouse that had been hiding in it. FML

#9157447 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (19994) - you deserved it (3204)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:22am - misc - by socksoffire (woman) - United States (Connecticut)