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NicoleErin's FML badges
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
NicoleErin's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
Today, while visiting family, we went to a restaurant to eat. Towards the end of the meal, I went to use the restroom. When I came back, everyone was gone. Everyone had actually gotten into their cars and left without me. I have no idea where I am and no one is answering their phone. FML
by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 10:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anon / 06/21/2014 at 8:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
by secret meat / 06/20/2014 at 10:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by FirstDaddy / 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by IneedMaury / 06/16/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML
by Teu_much / 06/09/2014 at 10:33pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
by yepintheladiesroom / 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML
by livingamongtheflowers / 05/15/2014 at 1:40am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ShutTheFuCupcake / 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by ColoredPencil13 / 05/10/2014 at 9:35am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm / United States / Intimacy