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NicoleErin's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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NicoleErin's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
Today, while visiting family, we went to a restaurant to eat. Towards the end of the meal, I went to use the restroom. When I came back, everyone was gone. Everyone had actually gotten into their cars and left without me. I have no idea where I am and no one is answering their phone. FML
by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 10:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anon / 06/21/2014 at 8:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
by secret meat / 06/20/2014 at 10:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by FirstDaddy / 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by IneedMaury / 06/16/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML
by Teu_much / 06/09/2014 at 10:33pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
by yepintheladiesroom / 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML
by livingamongtheflowers / 05/15/2014 at 1:40am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ShutTheFuCupcake / 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by ColoredPencil13 / 05/10/2014 at 9:35am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm / United States / Intimacy
- Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…