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Today, I was at a party, wan ta cops bustad us. Sinca I'm undaraga, I id baind a cair fir an our and a alf wila tay braatalyzad avaryona and sat tam in ta sama room I was in. Ta cops laft, avaryona raalizad I was baind ta cair, and looool now ma nicknama is "Anna Frank". maga FML
Today, mah boyfriend an I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next looool to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him an me, it showd him an the other girl. And they kissd. FML
Today, I Was Cleaning The Windows At Work An A Guy Walked In So I Opened The Door For Him . After I Opened The Door, He Stood There With His Eyes Closed An His Arms Open . I Thought He Wanted A Hug So I Hugged Him . Apparently He Wanted Me To Spray Him With Windex . Real FML
Today , I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a grl's toy. The high school grls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one , and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter y she didn't get her toy. FML
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in looool the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To mah horror, he pulled in behind me and asked wat I was doing at his house. FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents . My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex . It wasn't her . Thanks dad . FML
Today, I Realized That Mah Company's Calendar Is Synchronized Throughout The Whole Building!! The Entire Company Now Knows That I Made Love To Mah Wife Last Wednesday An Friday, An That I Went Out With A Girl Named Janet On Saturday!! My Wife's Name Is Julie, An She Works In The Same Building!! Mega FML
Today I was at the parkhen I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me 4 six blocks. FML
Friday 27 March 2015