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Nic90ole

Offline (the 12/28/2015 at 12:02am) | Search for a member

Nic90ole

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 865
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Nic90ole's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Nic90ole's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5-year-old son put my car keys in the microwave thinking that they would 'warm up' my car. FML

#21498607
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (2309)

On 11/30/2015 at 4:27pm - kids - by jimmy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

#21493038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25886) - you deserved it (4813)

On 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by nnniii - United States (Washington)

Today, I dropped my phone between my legs and tried to catch it with my thighs. Instead, the phone fell through just as I crushed my own balls with my legs. FML

#21486155
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19536) - you deserved it (4714)

On 10/30/2015 at 1:01pm - health - by MedChew - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

#21460410
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25972) - you deserved it (6546)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally hit my husband in the face. Not 2 minutes later, while laying in bed and trying to apologize, I accidentally kneed him in the balls. FML

Today, I found out my dog's new favorite game to play: "If you don't stop petting me, I'll bite your balls as hard as I can." FML

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35663) - you deserved it (4941)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on the job I accidentally locked my keys and all of my equipment in the car. I work for the AAA. FML

#21349609
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29951) - you deserved it (5298)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:02am - work - by AAA guy - United States

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

#21293677
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32584) - you deserved it (15171)

On 11/06/2014 at 8:55pm - animals - by dwood08 - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44864) - you deserved it (10807)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

#21229943
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39516) - you deserved it (18186)

On 08/05/2014 at 8:31am - kids - by ihatespiders (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38678) - you deserved it (12906)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)



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