About Nexus_surgeon : Trying to understand that my life is not so bad,as can be,while reading some stories=)
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (1832)
On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (2760)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25904) - you deserved it (6926)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28844) - you deserved it (2924)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28653) - you deserved it (18156)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28973) - you deserved it (16910)
On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25041) - you deserved it (2657)
On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26100) - you deserved it (5412)
On 08/31/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by girlsx2mom - United States
Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8173) - you deserved it (31426)
On 08/29/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by helpless_soul - United States
Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14591) - you deserved it (25101)
On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31890) - you deserved it (3363)
On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25988) - you deserved it (3916)
On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States
Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16293) - you deserved it (29476)
On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9690) - you deserved it (35949)
On 08/21/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by RohnAbheek - India (Maharashtra)
Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8307) - you deserved it (51631)
On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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