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Nexus_surgeon

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Nexus_surgeon

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 619
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Nexus_surgeon : Trying to understand that my life is not so bad,as can be,while reading some stories=)

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Nexus_surgeon's favorite FMLs

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

#18093315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31162) - you deserved it (2636)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

#17975450
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (3758)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33047) - you deserved it (9133)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML

#17965522
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33950) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/12/2011 at 2:11am - love - by anonymous - Canada

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34504) - you deserved it (24609)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36204) - you deserved it (23302)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31564) - you deserved it (3750)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML

#17627359
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31971) - you deserved it (7209)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by girlsx2mom - United States

Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML

#17609148
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10570) - you deserved it (44424)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by helpless_soul - United States

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

#17601670
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17948) - you deserved it (35601)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML

#17591992
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39066) - you deserved it (4687)

On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML

#17566686
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31885) - you deserved it (5203)

On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19985) - you deserved it (41677)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML

#17538243
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12441) - you deserved it (41632)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by RohnAbheek - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML

#17525503
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10567) - you deserved it (69341)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)



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