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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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NewLight8421

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NewLight8421
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 24 March 1996 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 4472
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About NewLight8421 : MLIA

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NewLight8421's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

#3495649 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (56283) - you deserved it (2491)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

#3477913 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (39522) - you deserved it (1385)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by hot_mess88 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

#3474895 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (52931) - you deserved it (9004)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML

#3402233 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (38200) - you deserved it (3270)

On 07/01/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by Pelota (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML

#3055802 (303)

I agree, your life sucks (15770) - you deserved it (36281)

On 06/20/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by DuckyKiller (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

#3048050 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (7672) - you deserved it (43068)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML

#3006187 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (36938) - you deserved it (5449)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:07pm - health - by asthmatic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

#2991073 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (10105) - you deserved it (41614)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

#2984635 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (65708) - you deserved it (1866)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

#2131299 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (21077) - you deserved it (48320)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

#2095201 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (55230) - you deserved it (2525)

On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114 (396)

I agree, your life sucks (149329) - you deserved it (16600)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

#495475 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (48079) - you deserved it (21570)

On 03/20/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by cjj325 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was with my 6th grade class. During recess, we were talking about growing up and getting older. I said that one day, they'd start to look like me. Two of my students started crying. FML

#264101 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (52095) - you deserved it (4539)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:58pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)