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Neronine382

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Neronine382

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3244
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Neronine382 : There's a lot about me but I don't really find any of it interesting besides all of my past girlfriends have cheated, I'm tall, blue-silver eyes, and I love basketball and books. =]

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Neronine382's favorite FMLs

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13321) - you deserved it (54555) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

#19319473
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24690) - you deserved it (2776)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

#19177249
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23207) - you deserved it (2595)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by Username (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

#19175931
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10764) - you deserved it (20903)

On 02/27/2012 at 4:58pm - misc - by Eric - United States

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35012) - you deserved it (5313)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32349) - you deserved it (5485)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (3493)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML

#19113154
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38153) - you deserved it (7830)

On 02/19/2012 at 4:15am - intimacy - by meet Chloe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24838) - you deserved it (2470)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24838) - you deserved it (2470)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I had to call AAA for the fifth time in two months. When the driver got out, I instantly recognized him. It was the same guy who helped me out all the previous occasions. When he saw me, he snorted and doubled over laughing. FML

#19048671
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20466) - you deserved it (5437)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:35pm - misc - by big steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48503) - you deserved it (8160)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

#18860865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35784) - you deserved it (10143)

On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML

#18806135
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (9738)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43036) - you deserved it (9120)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)



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