About Neronine382 : There's a lot about me but I don't really find any of it interesting besides all of my past girlfriends have cheated, I'm tall, blue-silver eyes, and I love basketball and books. =]
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Neronine382's favorite FMLs
by LovedByFamily / 10/08/2012 at 11:08am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML
by wickedbeauty333 / 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/20/2012 at 8:31am / United States / Geek
by jitiizer / 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
by brianfantana32 / 09/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 2:01pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 06/23/2012 at 10:23am / Canada / Love
Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML
by aranya / 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Intimacy
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
by Rob / 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML
by Getmeout / 05/31/2012 at 2:50am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 1:50pm / Netherlands (Flevoland) / Love
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous