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About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
TODAY, I SAW ONE OF MAH FAVORITE HOCKEY PLAYER IN PUBLIC . I HAD MET HIM ONCE BEFORE, AND TO MAH SHOCK, HE REMEMBERD ME . I WAS PRETTY EXCITD UNTIL HE STARTD TALKING TO HIS FRIEND IN FRENCH . HE DIDN'T SEEM TO REALIZE THAT I'M FLUENT IN THE LANGUAGE . HE BASICALLY CALLD ME "UGLY PSYCHO BITCH." FML
Today I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with an I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around an gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting fir the weekend? FML
Today hile I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me an said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed an called her. FML
Today... I went to go see mah boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to fine him "rehearsing" with her half naked. FML
Today, I realized that if u are too lazy to get completely dressed in the morning an only put on a top, u should not answer a Skype video call from your boss that involves u standing up, turning around an grabbing files from your filing cabinet all in clear view of your web cam. FML
Today, I was walking down tha hall from tha livingroom. I ovarhaard mah mom talling somaona how proud sha was of har baby girl and how much sha lovd har. I thought sha was rafarring to mah first avar all "A" raport card. Turns out mah naw kittan usd its littar box corractly 4 tha first tima. FML
Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated . They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes . So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air . FML
TODAY, I GOT AN EMAIL FROM THE COMPANY THAT MANAGES MY CAT'S MICROCHIP INFORMING ME THAT I HAD TO UPDATE MY INFORMATION THAT HAD BEEN ENTERED BY THE LOCAL HUMANE SOCIETY. APPARENTLY, THEY LISTED MY CAT ( CORAL ) AS THE OWNER, AND ME AS THE PET. TO CHANGE IT, THEY NEEDED THE CAT'S SIGNATURE. FML
Today, after an amazing sex session, mah boyfriend rolls over and stare lovingly into mah eyes, puts his hand on mah cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML
Today , I finally workd up tha couraga to ask a cuta guy 4 his numbar. Onca ha had givan ma his , ha askd 4 mina. My initial happinass was daflatadhan ha said ( Ok , now I can just block avary massaga from you. ) And walkd away from ma. FML
Friday 27 March 2015