About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.
NeatNit's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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NeatNit's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2011 at 2:52pm / Macedonia (Struga) / Animals
Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML
by Sue / 03/26/2011 at 11:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML
by FromNL / 03/25/2011 at 8:22am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health
Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML
by chi_chia / 03/24/2011 at 11:03am / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
by Anonymous / 03/14/2011 at 3:52pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/09/2011 at 4:52am / India (Karnataka) / Kids
Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 8:48pm / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was forced to attend a fire safety class, as required by my job. Last year, I completed the fire academy as a volunteer fireman. The class was not only insulting, but wrong in many ways. I got kicked out for pointing them out. I now have to take it again, or be fired. FML
by peeved / 02/17/2011 at 8:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 11:52am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML
by omnomnom / 02/04/2011 at 7:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals