Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NeatNit

Offline (24 hours ago) | Search for a member

NeatNit

23Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 22995
  • Number of comments : 933
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>bazzerbear1</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 7:46pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 7:08pm<b>2ophiia</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 8:21am<b>taterrtots</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 8:02am<b>rshweky</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 9:30am<b>dudealone</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:56pm<b>babykakes15</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:15pm<b>chelsealou1218</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 7:49pm<b>MdMan2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:54pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:15pm<b>2potato4u</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:53pm<b>DR_TYRANOSAURUS</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:53pm<b>tuslaw12</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 6:39pm<b>chazzywazzy654</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:04am<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 1:56am<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:08pm<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:06pm<b>Ricky54</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 5:36pm

Fucked!<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 1:08am<b>taterrtots</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 2:02pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:31pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:30am<b>rydin10</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:08pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:11pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:14am<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:47am<b>Sansa</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:45pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:20pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 12:33am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:51am<b>potatopolice1025</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:01am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:27am<b>Bamill</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:46pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:48pm<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:39am

NeatNit's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44541) - you deserved it (3104)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

#17512926
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29123) - you deserved it (7862)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30537) - you deserved it (3588)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML

#17490517
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25019) - you deserved it (5173)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by froggylicious - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

#17490024
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23141) - you deserved it (10573)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:55pm - work - by secret dancer (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33688) - you deserved it (13444)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39769) - you deserved it (3730)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, I was at the airport to pick up my mother since my baby is due soon. As she arrived, I smiled wide and opened my arms for a hug, but she walked right by me. Apparently, being pregnant makes me unrecognizable. My husband and I had to tell it her was me, her own daughter. FML

#17468026
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30014) - you deserved it (2708)

On 08/14/2011 at 6:34am - misc - by Motherly Love - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

#17460856
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28712) - you deserved it (5736)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to prank my boyfriend by putting a pair of panties in his coat pocket. I stormed in and confronted him with the "evidence". I guess the prank worked; he broke down and confessed to cheating on me. FML

#17452928
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33095) - you deserved it (41986) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/12/2011 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43644) - you deserved it (6434)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

#17447150
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24765) - you deserved it (28149)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:14am - intimacy - by fml - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

#17444868
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31013) - you deserved it (4101)

On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

#17440698
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31892) - you deserved it (4114)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ha Noi)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: