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NeatNit

Offline (the 07/19/2014 at 11:59am) | Search for a member

NeatNit

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10678
  • Number of comments : 776
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

NeatNit's page activity

Visits<b>anormalperson</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Thedudebroman</b> - yesterday at 6:50pm<b>boxofries</b> - yesterday at 1:18pm<b>savery</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 5:35pm<b>avatarwill5</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:38am<b>Hashk</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:26am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:20pm<b>coolifly</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 8:24pm<b>Firewar</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:32pm<b>shine999</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 5:16pm<b>MrsDavehn</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:54pm<b>jaquie0812</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:55am<b>Brittany_Leann</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:25am<b>ThatOtherMegan</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 7:22am<b>TeamTurnUp</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:15am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:58am<b>CyborgBanana</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:32pm<b>Sbx426</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:17pm

NeatNit's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of NeatNit's badges

NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML

#17414090
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54448) - you deserved it (4585)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by ksmith - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

#17413656
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26059) - you deserved it (11227)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by **(: - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML

#17413633
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29834) - you deserved it (2706)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

#17410703
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25838) - you deserved it (14116)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Kathryn - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

#17406158
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (3908)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34215) - you deserved it (9860)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40944) - you deserved it (5947)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34508) - you deserved it (3436)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

#17379792
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29343) - you deserved it (2478)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm - health - by laurlaur - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML

#17376503
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7303) - you deserved it (60883)

On 08/05/2011 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

#17374086
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24267) - you deserved it (9380)

On 08/05/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Fred - Japan

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54054) - you deserved it (2652)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

#17355193
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13571) - you deserved it (37065)

On 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31436) - you deserved it (2869)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21660) - you deserved it (66104)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States



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