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NeatNit

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NeatNit
  • Town/Country : Israel
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 June 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 8375
  • Number of comments : 732
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.

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NeatNit's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
445 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39357) - you deserved it (5803)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29168) - you deserved it (2543)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

#17379792
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27621) - you deserved it (2341)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm - health - by laurlaur - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML

#17376503
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6915) - you deserved it (59030)

On 08/05/2011 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

#17374086
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23215) - you deserved it (9179)

On 08/05/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Fred - Japan

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49994) - you deserved it (2382)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

#17355193
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12830) - you deserved it (35651)

On 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30120) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20809) - you deserved it (64575)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36939) - you deserved it (10875)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

#17337129
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27808) - you deserved it (2070)

On 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

#17337129
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27808) - you deserved it (2070)

On 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML

#17335799
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20623) - you deserved it (4484)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by vsf - United States

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

#17333376
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31405) - you deserved it (8476)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

#17315366
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (15278)

On 07/31/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by James (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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