About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.
NeatNit's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
NeatNit's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML
by duped / 10/29/2011 at 7:32am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
by The fat and the ugly / 10/27/2011 at 2:56pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Intimacy
Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML
by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work
Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML
by apparentlyunsexy / 10/27/2011 at 12:00am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML
by mycedes / 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Mrs. Terrified / 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Brony / 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I called my very overprotective father, and he took the time to tell me how proud he was of me for finally finding a good and respectable boyfriend. And that he was sorry he misjudged. I was calling for bail money to get my "good, respectable" boyfriend out of jail. FML
by hatetodisappoint / 10/21/2011 at 2:32am / United States / Love
by box bulge / 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm / China / Health
Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML
by smeeagain / 10/20/2011 at 9:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…