About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.
NeatNit's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
NeatNit's favorite FMLs
Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2011 at 6:33pm / United States / Transportation
Today, after holding it in for hours, I finally managed to run to the bathroom for a pee. I thought it was impossible for rats to climb up the sewer pipes and into the toilet, but apparently I was wrong. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2011 at 12:20pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by StaplerScared / 11/08/2011 at 9:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
by possiblyoverweight / 11/08/2011 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Kids
Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I couldn't tell her where the vitamins were in the pharmacy. The manager came and yelled at me for being lazy and incompetent. I work in the store across the street from the pharmacy. FML
by jodafish / 11/08/2011 at 12:45am / Canada (Quebec) / Work
by dre_bro11 / 11/06/2011 at 7:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML
by wellthisisawkward80 / 11/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
by XxFA1LxX / 11/06/2011 at 1:14am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML
by Shelbs / 11/05/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by oink401 / 11/05/2011 at 11:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
by tech_support / 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work
by me / 11/04/2011 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Nicole557 / 11/03/2011 at 6:56am / United States / Animals
Today, after 3 years, I saw my ex, who I still love, at a coffee shop. Being nice, I said hi. He turned around, looked at me, and said, "Thank God I broke up with you. You look like a hot mess!" before getting up and walking out with his model girlfriend. FML
by brie / 11/02/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (California) / Love
by S. Bauer / 11/02/2011 at 9:50am / Portugal / Love
- Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both… Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I… Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings…