About NeatNit : Hi. I know what you're thinking - you want my hat. This hat is mine; If you want it, you're going to have to pry it from my cold, dead airholes.
NeatNit's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
NeatNit's favorite FMLs
by whatadaydanny / 10/10/2012 at 9:58am / Dominica / Work
Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML
by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work
Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML
by ScaryBears / 10/08/2012 at 9:51pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by imafunguy / 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Love
by unfortunateMother / 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Kids
by not the scalpel / 09/15/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML
by bieberyoulittleSHIT / 08/31/2012 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (York) / Geek
Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML
by Neurocardiogenic Syncope / 08/24/2012 at 12:08am / Canada / Health
Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
by scared to leave the house / 08/20/2012 at 5:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML
by SHIIIIITTTT / 08/10/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was… Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking.… Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he…