About Naoto_Shirogane : 2000 IQ Killjoy Detective.
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Naoto_Shirogane's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML
by Stuby14 / 11/23/2015 at 9:31am / United States (South Dakota) / Intimacy
Today, while blissfully unaware that it was the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I was making paper airplanes during my free period in school. Next thing I know, I was reported for, "making jokes about the 9/11 attacks." FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2015 at 6:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by lonelygal69 / 08/19/2015 at 1:54am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by LoveIsOneSided / 08/18/2015 at 12:39am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML
by anonymous / 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML
by Wrabel / 06/08/2015 at 12:00pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy
Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML
by HiImAlfredo / 09/14/2014 at 2:47pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Geek
by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm / United States / Love
Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML
by Mortifiedcharityworker / 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm / Austria / Work
Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML
by wondercat40 / 04/24/2014 at 5:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML
by systematicpanic / 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work
- Today, I was disowned by my mother because I asked her to tone it down on Facebook. She flipped out… Today, while browsing the Internet on my phone I noticed a spider above my bed. Being pretty chill… Today, after working 6 days a week, making well over overtime and happy for a well rested day off,…