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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Nai

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Nai
  • Town/Country : United States, Michigan
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 December 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 3128
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Nai's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (66550) - you deserved it (9415)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (45751) - you deserved it (10321)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (36346) - you deserved it (3837)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (32899) - you deserved it (1917)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, the guy I've been dating tells me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML

#4909488 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (37366) - you deserved it (3932)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by Intheway (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML

#4630669 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (74611) - you deserved it (4456)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

#4523157 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (46829) - you deserved it (3403)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

#3921342 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (35222) - you deserved it (20227)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

#3755395 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (46157) - you deserved it (2225)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

#3474895 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (52934) - you deserved it (9004)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, there was a meeting at work. I had to give a presentation to my boss and the other attendants. My first subject was on how my 5 year old son got to my briefcase and replaced the contents of it with crayons and a stuffed teddy bear. FML

#3332879 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (34218) - you deserved it (3282)

On 06/29/2009 at 6:31am - work - by Andrew (man) - Canada

Today, I brought a friend who I have loved for years out to a nice restaurant for dinner. I ordered an expensive bottle of wine, and poured each of us a glass. As I was about to tell her I loved her, she raised her glass for a toast and said "A toast to friendship!" FML

#3207933 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (42234) - you deserved it (4965)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a real estate agent showed my house to some buyers. I found out when I exited the shower, fully nude, to them in the hallway. FML

#2959726 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (32497) - you deserved it (3410)

On 06/17/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by visn (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832 (393)

I agree, your life sucks (41159) - you deserved it (15447)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

#505547 (367)

I agree, your life sucks (268279) - you deserved it (24540)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)