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NKirstenN's favorite FMLs
by shelbylove115 / 02/22/2013 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by DontGetSlapped / 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm / United States (Arkansas) / Transportation
Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
by Coldandshoeless / 01/08/2013 at 5:40am / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 5:30am / United States (Kansas) / Health
by disembob / 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by geena / 10/27/2012 at 2:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by whatadaydanny / 10/10/2012 at 9:58am / Dominica / Work
by hahagirl / 09/12/2012 at 1:40am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML
by Ashley / 09/06/2012 at 8:46am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML
by Emma / 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2012 at 5:38pm / Ireland (Wexford) / Work
Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML
by heartbroken / 07/13/2012 at 9:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML
by TheDumper / 06/21/2012 at 6:02am / United States (Arizona) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm / Italy (Lombardia) / Love
Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML
by Anonymous / 05/15/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
- Today, after finally learning to love my nose, my aunt gave me a list of plastic surgeons to check… Today, I woke up from a dream in which I was making passionate love with a beautiful woman. The bad… Today, I had to serve a man with a Nazi Eagle tattoo on one arm and an SS tattoo on the other, and…