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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (2838)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50422) - you deserved it (2870)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26055) - you deserved it (9895)
On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66551) - you deserved it (9418)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42611) - you deserved it (19148)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30145) - you deserved it (2413)
On 10/03/2009 at 11:34am - health - by Pwnedofthedead (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32155) - you deserved it (3764)
On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5985) - you deserved it (25324)
On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35382) - you deserved it (4690)
On 09/29/2009 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up at 3 in the morning and realized I forgot a 30 page english essay that was due the next day. Knowing I still had 12 pages to research and write, I bolted. I worked until 12PM and was almost done when my dad came in and unplugged the computer because I "need to go outside more." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41209) - you deserved it (7851)
On 09/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by riotrock (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39018) - you deserved it (2590)
On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that my coach doesn't close the door and the blinds to perform half-naked body checks (to make sure his team is in shape) on anyone else but me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35020) - you deserved it (2966)
On 09/23/2009 at 7:28am - misc - by MaKaDa - United States (Texas)
Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (1690)
On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39614) - you deserved it (2105)
On 09/10/2009 at 9:37am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (10501)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British
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