Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

NIRVANAfan123

Search for a member

NIRVANAfan123
  • Town/Country : Brooklyn, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 April 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1113
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

NIRVANAfan123's last visitors

Das_is_gudrebtideHornsrocFMLDrummerBoyTwi_lover_ECbookb2535GreenDayRHCPrunescapeftw

NIRVANAfan123's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

NIRVANAfan123's favorite FMLs

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30931) - you deserved it (3405)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52467) - you deserved it (9842)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

#13589464
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37758) - you deserved it (3751)

On 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making fun of a photo album on Facebook containing pictures of two friends who just got engaged. I jokingly asked her to marry me. She said yes. We have been dating for two months. She's not in on the joke. FML

#13491262
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8869) - you deserved it (41988)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:39pm - love - by jfranklin - United States

Today, I called my parents to wish them a happy 28th anniversary. Now my mom's mad at my dad for forgetting, and my dad's mad at me for reminding her. FML

#13485648
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26065) - you deserved it (3173)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:08pm - love - by JustCantWin - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35911) - you deserved it (7752)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was called to reports of a drunk and disorderly male. I arrived to discover a drunk man having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me me and shouted 'God save the Queen'. It's then that I remembered that it's my job to do something about it. FML

#13444115
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26063) - you deserved it (2750)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (19790)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43575) - you deserved it (7927)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16548) - you deserved it (40051)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22660) - you deserved it (46064)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32449) - you deserved it (2823)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13372) - you deserved it (52182)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34963) - you deserved it (2794)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34939) - you deserved it (5524)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: