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NCITQ

Offline (the 01/12/2014 at 12:15pm) | Search for a member

NCITQ

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 294
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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NCITQ's favorite FMLs

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

#21037288
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44061) - you deserved it (9935)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by fappy dog - United States (Illinois)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67618) - you deserved it (4146)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML

#20924792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41887) - you deserved it (4403)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by nerdywaitress (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52265) - you deserved it (21128)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

#20684326
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40901) - you deserved it (6323)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML

#20060961
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8699) - you deserved it (17355)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the air bag system in my car somehow malfunctioned, and the air bag inflated while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light. I ended up with a badly bruised face because the air bag had already deflated by then. FML

#20018268
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24514) - you deserved it (1461)

On 08/13/2012 at 4:06am - health - by stupid_airbag (man) - Australia

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

#19991998
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24394) - you deserved it (5718)

On 07/30/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by skyplaysguitar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I told my mom about the severe phobia I've developed towards driving. She was very supportive and even made me an appointment to see a psychologist. His office is two hours away. I have to drive to see my doctor about my fear of driving. FML

#19956535
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21406) - you deserved it (2905)

On 07/18/2012 at 9:29pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML

#19608555
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17723) - you deserved it (5335)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:16pm - kids - by jessye1182 - United States (New York)

Today, I got so bored that I ordered my DVD drawer from awesomest to non-awesomest. I need a life. FML

#19368878
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15477) - you deserved it (5903)

On 03/29/2012 at 7:46am - misc - by melonhead77 - Cyprus

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19538) - you deserved it (3230)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

#19113390
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28578) - you deserved it (3503)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

#19045630
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29379) - you deserved it (4968)

On 02/11/2012 at 12:57am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to change my mobile number because I was getting abused by a guy, so I sent my new number to all of the people on my contact list. Including him. FML

#18982881
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9647) - you deserved it (44429)

On 02/03/2012 at 7:48am - misc - by Jodie - Australia (Victoria)



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