Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MzZombicidal

Online | Search for a member

MzZombicidal

45Liked!

MzZombicidalMzZombicidal
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 October 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9006
  • Number of comments : 636
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 25 posted

About MzZombicidal : VvV Please read before messaging me VvV
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello! I'm Kristine (pronouced Kris-teen), 22, in a serious relationship, feminist, Atheist, not a fan of makeup, crazy rat lady, extremely obsessed with art, sloths, zombies, body modification and currently addicted to Destiny, Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, Minecraft and Gotham City Impostors. You can find me on Twitch (SlothFiendKristine), and Xbox 360 (Mz Zombicidal). I do not give out any social networking site information to strangers so don't bug me for them. Compliments are fine but please don't flirt with me. I'm pretty outgoing but will hold back if you push me. [Respect me and I'll respect you.] I'm pretty sick of rude people so please don't message me just to ignore everything you've read here. Have a great day! ♥ (P.S. nothing on here is meant to come off as rude so I hope no one takes it that way.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TL;DR? Be respectful & nice, please. :)

MzZombicidal's page activity

Visits<b>JuliaaNoelle</b> - 3 hours ago<b>RyWillieMitch</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Trekidd777</b> - 16 hours ago<b>brezzyanna</b> - 18 hours ago<b>relaxedninja</b> - 21 hours ago<b>andy594328</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Acerhawk</b> - yesterday at 5:15pm<b>blcksocks</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:40pm<b>swmmrrnr</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 10:37am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 10:15am<b>tayraaah</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 9:25am<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:44am<b>penguinhalo</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 1:36am<b>predator0309</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Scryll</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:05pm<b>klondikeberry</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 5:51pm<b>bluntman33</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 5:48pm<b>weirdangelz2</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 2:26pm

Liked!<b>superamericankr</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 9:40pm<b>mzweier</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 6:59am<b>thebosssavage</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 5:50am<b>MysteryGuitarMan</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:08am<b>bluntman33</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:37pm<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 9:26am<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 4:07am<b>Erqoza</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:50am<b>Zacky_Chan</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 8:25pm<b>PokemonMaster0</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 6:12am<b>MissEris</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 11:37am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 4:45am<b>Kittun</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 12:41pm<b>relaxedninja</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 5:37pm<b>jackroarrr</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 12:16am<b>akkianjum</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 11:30am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:44am<b>Cooldude6158</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 6:27am

MzZombicidal's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of MzZombicidal's badges

MzZombicidal's favorite FMLs

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (3873)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33143) - you deserved it (5182)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31250) - you deserved it (4476)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

#21336664
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34995) - you deserved it (2459)

On 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm - love - by RipeFlame - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

#21336401
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32521) - you deserved it (3566)

On 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm - love - by Maiar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I paid someone $30 to give me a hickey so I could prove I had a social life. FML

#21335329
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19357) - you deserved it (21395)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:46pm - love - by thirsty af - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML

#21334376
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42438) - you deserved it (2727)

On 01/10/2015 at 8:45am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

#21330209
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40555) - you deserved it (5057)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:30pm - health - by Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34290) - you deserved it (6133)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister is having a New Year's Eve party at our house. I'm not invited. FML

#21327508
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28774) - you deserved it (2595)

On 12/30/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Excalibur6669 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

#21323182
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32780) - you deserved it (3387)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother brought over some early Christmas presents for me and the kids. The kid's presents were fine, mine however consisted of many yard accessories, including solar lights. I live in an apartment building with no yard. Her response? "Buy a potted plant and shove them in there." FML

#21322225
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25385) - you deserved it (2144)

On 12/22/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I decorated my boyfriend's house for Christmas as a surprise, just in time for him and his family to come home. Also just in time for him to tell me he's Jewish. FML

#21322002
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (11440)

On 12/22/2014 at 10:04am - love - by cwhitney7 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my school textbook's back cover ripped off. Not wanting to have my teacher find out, I glued the cover back together. Only after the glue dried did I realize that I actually glued the back cover upside down. FML

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29488) - you deserved it (3164)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: