Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 1:01pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 October 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15218
  • Number of comments : 905
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 36 posted

About MzZombicidal : Hey! My name's Kristine and I love this website.
[ feminist / 22 / taken / gamer / employed / artist ] ت

I like The Hulk and pugs.

Do you have an Xbox? You should send me your GT!

Instagram: im.pulchritudinous

Don't be shy! Go on ahead and message me!

(P.S. Thanks for the fucks?) (T∇T)

If any of you truly feel your life is a bit too sad for FML, try Vent! It's a wonderful app for... Venting! The community is friendly and the creators are constantly tweaking and updating the app for US! ♡ I hope it helps!

MzZombicidal's page activity

Visits<b>NodakN8V</b> - 12 hours ago<b>strider1987</b> - 15 hours ago<b>brkopplin</b> - 21 hours ago<b>billboob</b> - yesterday at 9:26am<b>Haley_bear</b> - yesterday at 10:37pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 8:32am<b>Tyguy823</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 10:27pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 5:12pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 2:00pm<b>facelick</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 1:48pm<b>donuts678</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 2:16am<b>hilamonster06</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 1:49am<b>majoroftheair</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:50pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:21am<b>Silk_Routes</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 7:06am<b>notlikeicare</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:52pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:07pm<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 2:49pm

Fucked!<b>hellnosucka</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 11:17am<b>dannidoll93</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:27am<b>murph</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:06am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 1:59pm<b>_ely_foster_</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 12:08pm<b>Aliadel</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:47am<b>cypherwars</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 5:32pm<b>bridges13</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:50pm<b>shain1988</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 6:09pm<b>FelixJC</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 7:39am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:22am<b>Arni792</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 8:06am<b>moiqbal</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:24am<b>TimeBandit17</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 11:09pm<b>TM24D</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 9:09pm<b>ZombieGirl40</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:48am<b>xluciferx666</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:48am<b>wild4drums</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:39am

MzZombicidal's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of MzZombicidal's badges

MzZombicidal's favorite FMLs

Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20978) - you deserved it (1641)

On 09/28/2015 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28079) - you deserved it (3011)

On 08/30/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19879) - you deserved it (8506)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (2258)

On 08/03/2015 at 1:31am - health - by sendhelp - United States (Utah)

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24596) - you deserved it (5992)

On 08/01/2015 at 4:29am - animals - by funnnyyyyy -_- (woman) - Nepal

Today, as if having an old man shit on the floor of the busy restaurant I work at wasn't bad enough, my manager made a video commentating over the camera footage of me discovering said giant pile of shit, and shared it with the entire staff. This is going to haunt me forever. FML

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML


I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (2970)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28463) - you deserved it (2596)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I heard my 2-year-old sister crying, so I left my room to comfort her. She looked at me, held my hand, escorted me back to my room and closed the door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31455) - you deserved it (2903)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:46am - kids - by transcendingnerd (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

Today, after many tests and doctor visits, I finally found out the reason for my flu-like symptoms isn't a vitamin deficient or anything. The damn tea I drink every morning makes me feel sick. FML

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38990) - you deserved it (4204)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my sister asked me how my boyfriend was doing. He died two years ago. She was the first person I told. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30903) - you deserved it (2268)

On 01/30/2015 at 1:11pm - misc - by lonesomegal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33206) - you deserved it (15449)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30388) - you deserved it (2245)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: