Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MzDisturbedOne

Search for a member

MzDisturbedOne
  • Town/Country : Bridgeport, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 October 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2570
  • Number of comments : 455
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MzDisturbedOne : atheist. shy. somewhat anti-social. love music. Disturbed, Marilyn Manson, Black Veil Brides, Slipknot, Escape The Fate, Korn, A7X, Bullet for my Valentine, (just to name a few, there's a lot more).

MzDisturbedOne's last visitors

the_rude_dudeLindsey_Marief36kGeneralStewcnparks1990the1pumpCHUMPGingerNinjavladimirnabokovthisguy184

MzDisturbedOne's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

See all of MzDisturbedOne's badges

MzDisturbedOne's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

#16016488
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8129) - you deserved it (52742)

On 05/02/2011 at 5:33am - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10136) - you deserved it (28936)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28583) - you deserved it (10820)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

#15691583
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32819) - you deserved it (4727)

On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

#15636235
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37385) - you deserved it (10494)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my dad woke me up for the second time to get me ready for school. Wanting me to prove I was really awake, he made me sit up. As soon as he left my room, I dozed off and faceplanted my nightstand. FML

#15635738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8932) - you deserved it (30423)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Username - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18708) - you deserved it (21115)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52823) - you deserved it (26717)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52823) - you deserved it (26717)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally decided to tell my parents I was a lesbian. They spent the next few hours reading me the bible. FML

#15377082
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46361) - you deserved it (20717)

On 03/19/2011 at 1:26am - love - by lezbplove - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38014) - you deserved it (7385)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28333) - you deserved it (18981) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

#14081399
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25654) - you deserved it (5727)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

#14081399
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25654) - you deserved it (5727)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

#14081399
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25654) - you deserved it (5727)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: