Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MzDisturbedOne

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

MzDisturbedOne

1Liked!

MzDisturbedOneMzDisturbedOne
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3508
  • Number of comments : 527
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About MzDisturbedOne : skeptic. shy. sense of humor. love dark comedy.
somewhat anti-social. love music.
Michael Jackson (R.I.P), Disturbed, Marilyn Manson, Black Veil Brides, Slipknot, Escape The Fate, Korn, A7X, Bullet for my Valentine, (just to name a few, there's a lot more).

MzDisturbedOne's page activity

Visits<b>MzZombicidal</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Tthug</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:18pm<b>Eivana</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:27am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:08am<b>Mathis92987</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:27am<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:26pm<b>Stoppy23</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:09pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:32am<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 9:43pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:10am<b>INDYSTRUCTABLE</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 2:36pm<b>ItsMissLia</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 7:58pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 1:32pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 12:14pm<b>TGGatsby</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 2:57am<b>Ravens_Star</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 2:34am<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 11:25pm

Liked!<b>Olivia93</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 1:57am

MzDisturbedOne's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of MzDisturbedOne's badges

MzDisturbedOne's favorite FMLs

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (4519)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML

#20127779
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24724) - you deserved it (3454)

On 10/22/2012 at 1:29am - love - by sausagefingers (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34815) - you deserved it (2853)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25303) - you deserved it (1898)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19330) - you deserved it (46994)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML

#20029819
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24496) - you deserved it (2079)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm - love - by yarhyun1 (man) - United States

Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML

#20029819
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24496) - you deserved it (2079)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm - love - by yarhyun1 (man) - United States

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6432) - you deserved it (46784)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got to live my life's dream of going whale watching. Apparently my true life's dream was to get extremely seasick, sunburned to a crisp, and pay $60 to see only seagulls in the end. FML

#19977133
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18281) - you deserved it (3591)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:05pm - animals - by disappointed (woman) -

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25851) - you deserved it (2370)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

#19911414
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26907) - you deserved it (4242)

On 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a woman asked why my daughter doesn't look remotely like me. I just smiled and shrugged it off, but the truth is that she looks exactly like I did before I got my botched plastic surgery. FML

#19905347
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7761) - you deserved it (36316)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:13pm - kids - by momolee (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

#19848904
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8899) - you deserved it (27361)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

#19848843
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24857) - you deserved it (5347)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (2887)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: