About MzDisturbedOne : atheist. shy. somewhat anti-social. love music. Disturbed, Marilyn Manson, Black Veil Brides, Slipknot, Escape The Fate, Korn (just to name a few).
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18921) - you deserved it (1453)
On 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm - love - by yarhyun1 (man) - United States
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18921) - you deserved it (1453)
On 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm - love - by yarhyun1 (man) - United States
Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4470) - you deserved it (32302)
On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got to live my life's dream of going whale watching. Apparently my true life's dream was to get extremely seasick, sunburned to a crisp, and pay $60 to see only seagulls in the end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12933) - you deserved it (2510)
On 07/22/2012 at 9:05pm - animals - by disappointed (woman) -
Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (1606)
On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21151) - you deserved it (2814)
On 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, a woman asked why my daughter doesn't look remotely like me. I just smiled and shrugged it off, but the truth is that she looks exactly like I did before I got my botched plastic surgery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5733) - you deserved it (25250)
On 07/07/2012 at 3:13pm - kids - by momolee (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)
Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13972) - you deserved it (1114)
On 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm - misc - by notestojenn - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5594) - you deserved it (22199)
On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7020) - you deserved it (22714)
On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18653) - you deserved it (3828)
On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23076) - you deserved it (2057)
On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21746) - you deserved it (3610)
On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15459) - you deserved it (5659)
Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15402) - you deserved it (8548)
On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Friday 24 May 2013
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