Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MysticAmmu

Online | Search for a member

MysticAmmu

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13866
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About MysticAmmu : My username is MysicAmmu, even though I meant to write MysicAmmy :/
I hate to write typos.

If there's anything you want to know about me, PM me.

I'm also from Thailand and Norway.

MysticAmmu's page activity

Visits<b>yuno_gasai</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Caps_hockey</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:55am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 12:59am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:23pm<b>brkopplin</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:40pm<b>funsizedliz</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:57am<b>arasx0</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 3:33pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:18am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:02pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:50pm<b>Ironic_Meme</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:27pm<b>je_suis_petit</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:09am<b>Kasparkilo05</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 2:38pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 8:55am<b>schmuckjon79</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:49pm<b>Colon_Man</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:52am<b>lola4455</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 7:54pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 4:08pm

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:19pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:32pm<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:59am

MysticAmmu's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of MysticAmmu's badges

MysticAmmu's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33808) - you deserved it (6404)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33808) - you deserved it (6404)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38364) - you deserved it (2820)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

#19039187
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28949) - you deserved it (6930)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Jarryd - Australia

Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, when I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again? FML

#19032712
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21247) - you deserved it (3881)

On 02/09/2012 at 6:05am - health - by thairsha (woman) - Japan

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20777) - you deserved it (9351)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

#19026198
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23020) - you deserved it (1839)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45171) - you deserved it (4665)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23306) - you deserved it (2721)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42352) - you deserved it (9166)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57918) - you deserved it (4458)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23220) - you deserved it (9965)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

#18945896
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14969) - you deserved it (41433)

On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31241) - you deserved it (2718)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: