Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MysticAmmu

Online | Search for a member

MysticAmmu

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Aalesund, Norway
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 July 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15666
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About MysticAmmu : My username is MysicAmmu, even though I meant to write MysicAmmy :/
I hate to write typos.

If there's anything you want to know about me, PM me.

I'm also from Thailand and Norway.

MysticAmmu's page activity

Visits<b>Aziraya</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:30pm<b>JoshWade62</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 6:22pm<b>tralulilulalala</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 3:12pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:22am<b>moron011</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 10:56pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:07pm<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 2:45am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:06am<b>Caps_hockey</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:55am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 12:59am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:23pm<b>brkopplin</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:40pm<b>funsizedliz</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:57am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:18am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:02pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:50pm<b>Ironic_Meme</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:27pm

Fucked!<b>tralulilulalala</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 9:12pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 10:04pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 12:07am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:19pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:32pm<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:59am

MysticAmmu's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of MysticAmmu's badges

MysticAmmu's favorite FMLs

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37953) - you deserved it (2950)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (3200)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38588) - you deserved it (3182)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML

#19299897
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29058) - you deserved it (3152)

On 03/18/2012 at 11:04am - work - by cachucy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30319) - you deserved it (7462)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

#19264925
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22110) - you deserved it (3590)

On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31179) - you deserved it (4109)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
603 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (55343)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24795) - you deserved it (19068)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

#19247785
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23673) - you deserved it (5774)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30633) - you deserved it (3971)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML

#19187545
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9673) - you deserved it (33081)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

#19167589
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22830) - you deserved it (7412)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

#19158287
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10368) - you deserved it (34088)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML

#19147436
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10151) - you deserved it (34879) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm - misc - by Laviolette - France



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: