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MysticAmmu

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MysticAmmu

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6040
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MysticAmmu : My username is MysicAmmu, even though I meant to write MysicAmmy :/
I hate to write typos.

If there's anything you want to know about me, PM me.

I'm also from Thailand and Norway.

MysticAmmu's page activity

Visits<b>totallylosing</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:35am<b>Gremlinek</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:06am<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 1:27pm<b>SqueezeMe32</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:51am<b>Sp1k3FML</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:37am<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 11:02am<b>its_bree</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 8:19am<b>byefelicia1992</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 10:32pm<b>rainbowdog</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 6:38pm<b>juanschwartz</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:15pm<b>anonymous188</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 8:58am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 7:53pm<b>LadyQuantum7</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 9:06pm<b>Christakwon</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 9:12am<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:13am<b>nelson_92</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 6:32am<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:32am

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MysticAmmu's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65567) - you deserved it (18704)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

#20697858
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37429) - you deserved it (4088)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63589) - you deserved it (13995)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63210) - you deserved it (14399)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77182) - you deserved it (5276)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

#20647074
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58806) - you deserved it (4594)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by the girl next door (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88163) - you deserved it (5517)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51098) - you deserved it (4436)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53101) - you deserved it (4118)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML

#20612533
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67690) - you deserved it (4777)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:58am - love - by Stupid (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54683) - you deserved it (6843)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60558) - you deserved it (20230)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61842) - you deserved it (5420)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47291) - you deserved it (4877)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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