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MysticAmmu

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MysticAmmu
  • Town/Country : Norway
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3836
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MysticAmmu : My username is MysicAmmu, even though I meant to write MysicAmmy :/
I hate to write typos.

If there's anything you want to know about me, PM me.

I'm also from Thailand and Norway.

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MysticAmmu's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33780) - you deserved it (5318)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

#19095316
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21094) - you deserved it (3668)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by dummy - United States

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29546) - you deserved it (5826)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29546) - you deserved it (5826)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30140) - you deserved it (1919)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

#19039187
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21756) - you deserved it (4917)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Jarryd - Australia

Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, when I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again? FML

#19032712
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17066) - you deserved it (3371)

On 02/09/2012 at 6:05am - health - by thairsha (woman) - Japan

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19391) - you deserved it (9069)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

#19026198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (1723)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39755) - you deserved it (4238)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18389) - you deserved it (1936)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36937) - you deserved it (8388)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50863) - you deserved it (3881)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20049) - you deserved it (9357)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)



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