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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21690) - you deserved it (2020)
On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44941) - you deserved it (6984)
On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9584) - you deserved it (36138)
On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had drinks at a friend's house before going out to a concert. I still had a bottle of beer left, so I brought it along with me. I got kicked out five minutes into the show for bringing my own drink, which is apparently against the rules. I paid $75 to get kicked out over a $3 drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7907) - you deserved it (37331)
On 02/07/2013 at 12:11pm - misc - by loquacious shit stain (woman) - Australia
Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32029) - you deserved it (2503)
Today, I told my sister that boys are stronger than girls. She responded by beating the living crap out of me to prove me wrong. She's twelve. I'm eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8778) - you deserved it (41046)
On 02/07/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by manhandled by a little girl (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15490) - you deserved it (3442)
On 02/06/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by gilbirds (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13279) - you deserved it (26077)
On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18003) - you deserved it (1784)
On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36100) - you deserved it (2896)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36585) - you deserved it (3193)
On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States
Today, I finished booking the non-refundable cruise for my wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that my mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she called back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23386) - you deserved it (1526)
On 02/05/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by vacationless - United States (West Virginia)
Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22512) - you deserved it (2481)
On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21075) - you deserved it (2133)
On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States
Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26499) - you deserved it (2770)
On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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