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MyselfLovesI

Offline (the 01/18/2014 at 2:09pm) | Search for a member

MyselfLovesI

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 October 1999 (14 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 92
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MyselfLovesI's page activity

Visits<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 6:31pm<b>glowbaby</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Ben009</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 12:37am<b>Masterbator</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 5:20pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 1:58pm<b>Fr0gs</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 5:36pm

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MyselfLovesI's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked a student to an office on the other side of the school. I'm the kind of person who would rather make conversation than endure awkward silence, so I tried to talk to him. He just stared intently at my chest the whole time. FML

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, while already late for work, a cop pulled me over. When he got to my window, he said, "Oh sorry, I thought I knew you," and sent me on my way. I was relieved, but still got written up for being late to work. My boss didn't believe the story. FML

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic, it sounds like I'm asking her if she's autistic. FML

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

#21090883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43130) - you deserved it (3454)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML

#21068972
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49608) - you deserved it (5848)

On 02/22/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by dontgothere (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31545) - you deserved it (47640)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

#21057121
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47523) - you deserved it (8043)

On 02/11/2014 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41165) - you deserved it (7229)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

#21055088
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41668) - you deserved it (12007)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:12am - love - by look before you speak - United States

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, the guy I was sexting asked me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

#21050596
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49119) - you deserved it (20011)

On 02/04/2014 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by khfhjfsb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML



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