MykalaMonae

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MykalaMonae

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 June 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5994
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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MykalaMonae's page activity

Visits<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:26am<b>Mmichaelanne</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:52pm<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 9:49pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 1:53pm<b>Gemma_Mansonite</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:51am<b>lovelenaa_</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 2:40am<b>turtles4life</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:51pm<b>yehyeh</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:08am<b>CheyMiichelle</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:31pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 4:30pm<b>notapotato</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:07pm<b>ok_kiwi</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 12:19am<b>Iknoweverything</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 7:33pm<b>MissGK</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 12:26am<b>lexxiii</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 9:00am<b>brenda2326</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 10:27pm<b>ChickInGreenVans</b> - the 06/05/2012 at 3:54am<b>shaza575</b> - the 06/05/2012 at 2:34am

MykalaMonae's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of MykalaMonae's badges

MykalaMonae's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

by ilovefootball / 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

by robbed / 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

by keepsmiling / 09/02/2009 at 7:19am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

by adriana / 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Utah) / Money

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

by younggrammy / 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML

by mochiko / 08/09/2009 at 3:28am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

by verysadasian / 07/30/2009 at 10:21am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2009 at 12:52pm / United Kingdom (London) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2009 at 12:52pm / United Kingdom (London) / Kids

Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML

by Sally / 07/24/2009 at 5:04am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

by GabsAlot829 / 07/21/2009 at 6:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2009 at 8:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I paid $80 to change my cell number because my ex-girlfriend had been stalking me. To inform all of my friends of the change, I sent a mass text message to everyone in my phonebook. Including my ex. FML

by Blackberry / 07/10/2009 at 3:15pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy