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MykalaMonae's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
MykalaMonae's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 7:53am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML
by prayforme / 11/10/2009 at 8:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML
by Dummy / 11/10/2009 at 12:47am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by John / 11/07/2009 at 4:45pm / United States / Love
by tbanana95 / 11/03/2009 at 10:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, my best friend and I both applied for the same job. I was applying because my family is REALLY tight on cash, and I need the money. He applied because I told him about the job and we thought it would be fun working together. He was hired on the spot. I was denied the job. FML
by jamminguitarist / 11/01/2009 at 3:13am / United States (Utah) / Work
by Geez / 10/19/2009 at 1:02pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
by Xia / 10/18/2009 at 12:38pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML
by Notthemaid / 09/30/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML
by pummy / 09/29/2009 at 8:48pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
by bellaellaella / 09/22/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
by nipped / 09/16/2009 at 9:24am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by Embarassed / 09/10/2009 at 1:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous