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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, mah step-mom threw out some of the ( boxes of junk ) in mah room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in mah family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML
Today, a shopper approachd me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignord his comment, until he got so upset that he wantd to speak to mah manager. It would have been understandable if I actually workd there. FML
Yesterday... I saw cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch... I pickd it up an threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time... I realizd that not only was it not a toy... but it was only half-dead. FML
Taday I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. mega FML
TODAY, IN BREAK FROM TRADITION, I PROPOSED TO MAH BOYFRIEND!! WE WERE AT A JAPANESE PAGODA!! WATER WAS TRICKLING EVERYWHERE; THE MOMENT WAS PERFECT!! WHILE I WAS ON MAH KNEE, AFTER POURING MAH HEART OUT, HE LOOKED WISTFULLY OUT OVER THE WATER AND SAID, "SO, I WAS THINKING PIZZA TONIGHT." FML
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
Today, mah friands and I wara playing truth or dara gama. It was lata and wa wara drunk, so thay darad ma to run nakad into mah naighbor's yard whila yalling, "Halp! Tha pixias took mah panis!" I ran scraaming right into thair big family raunion. maga FML
Today, a nereby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML
Today, Mah Ex-grlfriend Was Supposed To Pick Up Her Things . I Decided To Take A Nap . Thrty Minutes Later, I Woke Up With Two Police Officers Hammering On Mah Door . They'd Come To Get Mah Ex-grlfriend's Things An Said They Were "watching Me." That's The Last Time I Date A Cop's Daughter . FML
Today, I decidd to surprise ma boyfriend by waking im up wit a blowjob, because e ad always told me tat it was a sexy fantasy of is . Wen e finally woke up, e got pissd off, rudely accusd me of interrupting is beauty sleep, ten soundly lay back down and fell asleep again . FML
Friday 27 March 2015