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MykalaMonae's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
MykalaMonae's favorite FMLs
Today, I was telling my co-workers about how I'd gotten tickets to a concert in a few days. My boss overheard. Later, he told me I now have to work on the night of the concert. However, he was kind enough to offer to buy the tickets off me for half of what I'd paid for them. FML
by working_as_usual / 10/07/2012 at 8:09pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML
by Jex / 10/06/2012 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by Valentine_Beauty / 10/06/2012 at 4:58am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm / United Kingdom (Wokingham) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML
by desperate / 10/05/2012 at 5:47am / Malta / Work
by Darla / 10/05/2012 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML
by lonerboner / 10/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:25am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We… Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack.…