MykalaMonae

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MykalaMonae

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 June 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5824
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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MykalaMonae's page activity

Visits<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:26am<b>Mmichaelanne</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:52pm<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 9:49pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 1:53pm<b>Gemma_Mansonite</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:51am<b>lovelenaa_</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 2:40am<b>turtles4life</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:51pm<b>yehyeh</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:08am<b>CheyMiichelle</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:31pm<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 4:30pm<b>notapotato</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:07pm<b>ok_kiwi</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 12:19am<b>Iknoweverything</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 7:33pm<b>MissGK</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 12:26am<b>lexxiii</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 9:00am<b>brenda2326</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 10:27pm<b>ChickInGreenVans</b> - the 06/05/2012 at 3:54am<b>shaza575</b> - the 06/05/2012 at 2:34am

MykalaMonae's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of MykalaMonae's badges

MykalaMonae's favorite FMLs

Today, I was telling my co-workers about how I'd gotten tickets to a concert in a few days. My boss overheard. Later, he told me I now have to work on the night of the concert. However, he was kind enough to offer to buy the tickets off me for half of what I'd paid for them. FML

by working_as_usual / 10/07/2012 at 8:09pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

by Jex / 10/06/2012 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work, thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly, until someone at work told me that I was actually wearing a nightie. FML

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm / United Kingdom (Wokingham) / Kids

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

by desperate / 10/05/2012 at 5:47am / Malta / Work

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

by Darla / 10/05/2012 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Health

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML

by lonerboner / 10/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:25am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous