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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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MyFullContrast

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MyFullContrast
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 268
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MyFullContrast's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (16143) - you deserved it (47801)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML

#151605 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (18300) - you deserved it (35264)

On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - love - by Ma.Sa.La. (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

#148827 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (93666) - you deserved it (7270)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

#67274 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (12784) - you deserved it (38457)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:29am - misc - by Thatkid (man) - Singapore

Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML

#65383 (28)

I agree, your life sucks (38377) - you deserved it (1893)

On 02/18/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by fuckthat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML

#63782 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (35638) - you deserved it (5267)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by ouchmynose (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141752) - you deserved it (53049)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

#55148 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (30046) - you deserved it (5254)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - love - by EK (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at work. I work at a grocery store and a woman pulls a cart to me filled with chips, breads, lunch meats, and sodas. I said to her "Looks like you are going to have a fun party" she then looks at me and says "My mother just died, this is for after the funeral. FML

#52207 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (29042) - you deserved it (7630)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by KMKWEEN (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML

#47427 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (30328) - you deserved it (4788)

On 02/15/2009 at 4:27pm - misc - by efffmylife - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

#47156 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (27470) - you deserved it (3759)

On 02/15/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (32242) - you deserved it (3977)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (37712) - you deserved it (5928)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

#37276 (40)

I agree, your life sucks (21413) - you deserved it (4692)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

#21834 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (60297) - you deserved it (17695)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)