MyDixieNormas

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MyDixieNormas

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 434
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MyDixieNormas's page activity

Visits<b>timotay89</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:14pm

MyDixieNormas's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

MyDixieNormas's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm / Australia / Love

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

by thanks.... / 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

by lsababy / 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

by anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

by Hellosinglelife / 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George) / Love

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

by reedcarter / 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm / Miscellaneous

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

by pyroman1127 / 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous