Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MyChemical

Search for a member

MyChemical

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 February 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1125
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About MyChemical : Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh












:)






:O









Stop reading.











I said stop :(









Fine...

MyChemical's page activity

Visits<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:40am<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 5:29pm<b>idkbands</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 5:28pm<b>OkapiParade</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Bass_Predator</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:25pm<b>bardo264</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 3:26am<b>dandee_one</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 11:02pm<b>Soulsbane96</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:37pm<b>tigerfish</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 9:26pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 4:24pm<b>wopchop12</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 10:27pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 11:38pm<b>BrockALee</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 3:36pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 3:44pm<b>Girosrabing</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 4:52am<b>Cfail</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 9:44pm<b>TGheat1</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 6:57pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 9:36am

MyChemical's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MyChemical's favorite FMLs

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

#15045692
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9662) - you deserved it (73901)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML

#14944563
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10328) - you deserved it (38301)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by courtbabbbby (woman) - United States

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12344) - you deserved it (81607)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic-Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up... out my left nostril. FML

#13652209
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33265) - you deserved it (5661)

On 10/30/2010 at 5:28pm - health - by DeepTaccer (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

#13462690
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34409) - you deserved it (5269)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7578) - you deserved it (72062)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

#13034308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23810) - you deserved it (2435)

On 09/13/2010 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

#13005012
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29099) - you deserved it (3169)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:59pm - misc - by wantontsu -

Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML

#12697631
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26267) - you deserved it (2818)

On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46871) - you deserved it (14813)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had an elderly woman come up to me and tell me how well I pull off the look of being bald. She said that most women can't look attractive without hair. Then she asked me if I had cancer. I had to explain to her that I am, in fact, a man, and I shave my head because I'm a swimmer. FML

#12448497
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33365) - you deserved it (4063)

On 08/11/2010 at 4:10am - health - by Jayswizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

#12337328
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23341) - you deserved it (37391)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29656) - you deserved it (33509)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (481787) - you deserved it (45996)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: