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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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MussoMalfunction

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MussoMalfunction
  • Town/Country : Brownsville, Unites States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 July 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 8592
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MussoMalfunction : We all have our faults that make us who we really are. I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. We all do care what people say, we can say we don’t but honestly we do. Got any questions?

Add me on MySpace. http://myspace.com/911monicaamalfunction

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MussoMalfunction's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

#8889427 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (13848) - you deserved it (24007)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

#8608911 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (5412) - you deserved it (41327)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

#8554799 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (22895) - you deserved it (1446)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:32pm - health - by mynoseburns (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML

#8370926 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (20581) - you deserved it (3441)

On 02/17/2010 at 10:05am - misc - by juwkgo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realised the only guy who is showing any slight interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick up lines such as "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

#8368269 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (18414) - you deserved it (1617)

On 02/17/2010 at 5:49am - love - by LoveDrug (woman) - Ireland

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

#8366162 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (16281) - you deserved it (1496)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (21385) - you deserved it (1364)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML

#8332517 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (13264) - you deserved it (1517)

On 02/16/2010 at 6:51am - misc - by fmlpgh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was really excited to be observing my first autopsy for my forensics class. Apparently so was the guy behind me. He barfed up ramen noodles all over my hair and back. I couldn't leave the room to clean up. For two hours. FML

#8313100 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (16958) - you deserved it (914)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (15160) - you deserved it (1623)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

#8300891 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (2344)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML

#8294637 (339)

I agree, your life sucks (26092) - you deserved it (5428)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:21am - love - by Ashlee - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

#7728749 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (20865) - you deserved it (4223)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (6870) - you deserved it (34689)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks (21377) - you deserved it (5892)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)