MuseFanatic

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MuseFanatic

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1414
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MuseFanatic's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

by I said whaat / 12/18/2012 at 11:50am / Kids

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

by LearnGeographyUSA / 12/12/2012 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

by JPPUDLY / 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

by hailey / 12/10/2012 at 12:10am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

by SpanishInFrenchClass / 12/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Work

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML

by faen / 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm / Norway (Sogn og Fjordane) / Miscellaneous

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

by Z / 11/26/2012 at 5:26am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

by Eganstein / 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

by Read The Fine Print / 11/24/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

by wow @ creepy fuckers / 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm / United States / Work

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

by Misunderstood Waitress / 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Work

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

by hallofail / 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm / Germany (Bayern) / Kids