Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About Murilirum : Name: Austin
Creep me, I'll creep you back
I'm a Web Designer & UX Specialist, that is my dream career and I love doing it every single day! I own my own company so I work a lot.
The statements that keeps me going:
- Decide what it is you want. Write that shit down. Make a fucking plan. And... Work on it. Every. Single. Day.
- Censorship is like telling a man he cannot have a steak, because a baby cannot chew it.
- You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat someone; who can do nothing for them in return.
Feel free to message me, don't be shy! Always up for a conversation about nothing in particular! I just want to chat (I prefer Kik, but that's your choice, I check FML daily so it works) !
You read my entire description, may as well say hi. ✌️
I won't usually start a message, but I'll carry one on as long as you want to!
***I prefer Kik because it notifies me of messages, but that's ultimately up to you!***k
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
Friday 21 November 2014