Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 01/12/2015 at 10:32pm) | Search for a member
About Murilirum : Name: Austin
Creep me, I'll creep you back
I'm a Web Designer & UX Specialist, that is my dream career and I love doing it every single day! I own my own company so I work a lot.
The statements that keeps me going:
- Decide what it is you want. Write that shit down. Make a fucking plan. And... Work on it. Every. Single. Day.
- Censorship is like telling a man he cannot have a steak, because a baby cannot chew it.
- You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat someone; who can do nothing for them in return.
Feel free to message me, don't be shy! Always up for a conversation about nothing in particular! I just want to chat (I prefer Kik, but that's your choice, I check FML daily so it works) !
You read my entire description, may as well say hi. ✌️
I won't usually start a message, but I'll carry one on as long as you want to!
***I prefer Kik because it notifies me of messages, but that's ultimately up to you!***
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
Friday 30 January 2015