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MurderBlack

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MurderBlack

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1230
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MurderBlack's page activity

Visits<b>ItsAUnicorn</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:13am<b>cina5</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:58pm<b>iknowsomeofit</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 11:24pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 7:02am<b>WhoopteDo</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 4:46pm<b>xerbrus</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 5:14pm<b>Nickb55</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:26am

MurderBlack's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of MurderBlack's badges

MurderBlack's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47018) - you deserved it (9170)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49195) - you deserved it (4476)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by zl5 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40204) - you deserved it (16739)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, being the class nerd hasn't stopped me from being naive: none of my so-called friends has talked to me since the last day of exams. FML

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

#21194001
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55166) - you deserved it (3980)

On 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm - love - by outoflove (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59898) - you deserved it (4621)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

#21191841
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42790) - you deserved it (4750)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

#21191359
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43168) - you deserved it (6158)

On 06/28/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Puzzlepiece - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38876) - you deserved it (7077)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51614) - you deserved it (6622)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42982) - you deserved it (6133)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46130) - you deserved it (8324)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45469) - you deserved it (5107)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

#21188654
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43395) - you deserved it (4829)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:03am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52167) - you deserved it (16859)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)



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