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MurderBlack

Offline (the 12/04/2014 at 1:40am) | Search for a member

MurderBlack

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1574
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MurderBlack's page activity

Visits<b>ItsAUnicorn</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:13am<b>cina5</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:58pm<b>iknowsomeofit</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 11:24pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 7:02am<b>WhoopteDo</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 4:46pm<b>xerbrus</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 5:14pm<b>Nickb55</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:26am

MurderBlack's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of MurderBlack's badges

MurderBlack's favorite FMLs

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41109) - you deserved it (3187) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

#18208389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14625) - you deserved it (31273)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

#18079662
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22442) - you deserved it (44864)

On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

#18037995
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49642) - you deserved it (3871)

On 10/21/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

#18005142
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52741) - you deserved it (4884)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:02am - love - by bubba - China

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

#17894609
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25972) - you deserved it (5183)

On 10/03/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by Mike Polk - United States

Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML

#17861695
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39424) - you deserved it (2743)

On 09/29/2011 at 3:34am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28636) - you deserved it (3451)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML

#17591992
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39128) - you deserved it (4689)

On 08/27/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by RainCl0ud - United States (California)

Today, I learned the hard way that when a pierced, tattooed, and otherwise extremely stereotypical biker chick jokingly threatens to find you and beat you up if you don't call her back after a one-night stand, she's not actually joking. FML

#17531904
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13286) - you deserved it (44047)

On 08/20/2011 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by owmyhead (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I zoned out in a coffee shop for about two minutes and was brought back to reality when a woman smacked me out of my seat. Apparently I was staring at her chest while zoned out. FML

#17436721
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28056) - you deserved it (6507)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

#17145151
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32819) - you deserved it (7275)

On 07/17/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by grenade (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41115) - you deserved it (2613)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13708) - you deserved it (48019)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)



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