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MurderBlack

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MurderBlack

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 965
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MurderBlack's page activity

Visits<b>ItsAUnicorn</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:13am<b>cina5</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:58pm<b>iknowsomeofit</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 11:24pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 7:02am<b>WhoopteDo</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 4:46pm<b>xerbrus</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 5:14pm<b>Nickb55</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:26am

MurderBlack's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of MurderBlack's badges

MurderBlack's favorite FMLs

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36901) - you deserved it (6056)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on my 21st birthday, a relative asked me if I was still engaged to the love of my life. The man I spent several years with, gave my virginity to, moved across the country for, who promised to marry me before my 21st, and who swore he was over his ex for good. No, but thanks for asking. FML

#15565101
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34546) - you deserved it (7341)

On 03/30/2011 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37152) - you deserved it (31496)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML

#15319937
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14293) - you deserved it (51222)

On 03/15/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by sylverster - Singapore

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

#15228646
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10819) - you deserved it (36928)

On 03/07/2011 at 11:17am - misc - by thenotsomanlyman - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

#15056238
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34814) - you deserved it (7886)

On 02/20/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47617) - you deserved it (8106)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML

#14742129
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30002) - you deserved it (3689)

On 01/28/2011 at 10:43am - misc - by NotoriousSRJ (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45707) - you deserved it (5496)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

#14699951
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (11808)

On 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Fucked (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14379) - you deserved it (36784) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, after telling my parents just exactly what I thought of them and that I was moving out, the person I was supposed to move in with called to say they'd decided they would rather live alone. FML

#14405301
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11015) - you deserved it (28794)

On 12/31/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML

#14294990
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37568) - you deserved it (2472)

On 12/22/2010 at 4:50am - animals - by ks.swan13 -



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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