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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 November 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1748
  • Number of comments : 160
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MuffyStJacques : Buy the ticket, take the ride.
-Hunter S. Thompson
About me: I'm not nice and I don't care about your feelings.

MuffyStJacques's page activity

Visits<b>GlobalxConcepts</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 4:11pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 10:17pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 1:09pm<b>ILoveMyDogs420</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 8:39am<b>shrinkdinck</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 12:24pm<b>moosecrofts</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 1:09pm<b>fknblahhh</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 11:39pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 11:34pm<b>facelick</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 1:59pm<b>ShortStop19</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 9:12pm<b>10220706</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 7:37pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:21am<b>sullysair123</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:18am<b>sikanderkhan</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 12:06am<b>wratty11</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 12:44pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 4:43pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:17pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:33pm

MuffyStJacques's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MuffyStJacques's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

by dearme / 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

by gringa_Peru / 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm / Peru (Lima) / Intimacy

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

by ihavepinkbackpac / 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids