Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Muffin_Tops

Search for a member

Muffin_Tops

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 November 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 149
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Muffin_Tops : Would you fuck me?
I'd fuck me.
I'd fuck me hard
-Clerks 2

Muffin_Tops's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Muffin_Tops's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
733 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48781) - you deserved it (6988)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dog ate a $2,000 check. My credit card bill gets taken out of my bank account tomorrow. FML

#15812903
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30733) - you deserved it (9084)

On 04/16/2011 at 9:06pm - money - by TDCC (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

#15811934
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24760) - you deserved it (10211)

On 04/16/2011 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I discovered that not only is my live-in mother-in-law a fan of Lady Gaga, she dances around the house naked to fully embrace the music. FML

#15693901
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31642) - you deserved it (3569)

On 04/08/2011 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

#15693766
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (3492)

On 04/08/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by jonh_215 - United States

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

#15676274
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43616) - you deserved it (3676)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54711) - you deserved it (27485)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48622) - you deserved it (8008)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: