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Msfan93

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Msfan93

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Msfan93's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8942) - you deserved it (26457)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (4180)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML

#19990108
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21063) - you deserved it (2283)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:15am - health - by cherknobil (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

#19986926
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22536) - you deserved it (2158)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26870) - you deserved it (2080)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

#19979145
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (16952)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34329) - you deserved it (2997)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35095) - you deserved it (3233)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML

#19939674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24297) - you deserved it (1834)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:51am - work - by kerensa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, for my birthday, my family offered to take one of my friends to the movies with me. I had to pay a random person in my class to pose as a friend of mine, so that I wouldn't look pathetic in front of my parents. She forgot my name three times. They didn't buy it. FML

#19913768
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16328) - you deserved it (20676)

On 07/09/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Nofriends (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

#19901344
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26397) - you deserved it (1617) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm - misc - by Lyn (woman) - France

Today, my boyfriend told me that because he works fifty hours a week, I should be meeting an arbitrary quota of fifty hours of housework, and if I don't, I'm insensitive and ungrateful. FML

#19895787
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20400) - you deserved it (9196)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:34pm - work - by lazy pregnant girl - United States

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8289) - you deserved it (23345)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

#19861407
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6189) - you deserved it (80161)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)



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