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Msfan93

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Msfan93

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Msfan93's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study for it. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

#20201964
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8312) - you deserved it (32478)

On 12/12/2012 at 2:14pm - misc - by dumbassgrad - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31469) - you deserved it (6230)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34496) - you deserved it (3982)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18368) - you deserved it (5178)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11862) - you deserved it (27958)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML

#20190915
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10127) - you deserved it (27540)

On 12/04/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Vassy (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML

#20189915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32626) - you deserved it (3395)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27179) - you deserved it (3679)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

#20182157
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24808) - you deserved it (2380)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (3363)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27937) - you deserved it (3224)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21617) - you deserved it (2151)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47082) - you deserved it (13970)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (1515)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)



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