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MrsSarcasm

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MrsSarcasm

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 December 1986 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 62
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MrsSarcasm : Names April. I'm sarcastic and never take life too seriously.
Oh and no I wasn't born in April and I have no siblings named June or July.

MrsSarcasm's page activity

Visits<b>JJ_86</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:55pm<b>Ayoomoofie</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 4:16pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 2:46am<b>scfann11</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 1:21am<b>melcat</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 4:41pm

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MrsSarcasm's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30666) - you deserved it (5735)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24629) - you deserved it (3801)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30999) - you deserved it (8800)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14762) - you deserved it (38422)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

#19995451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18817) - you deserved it (1947)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10698) - you deserved it (36795)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I was convinced I hadn't locked up properly when leaving work, and almost had a panic attack at the train station. I went all the way back into work, to find I had in fact locked up properly. It made me nearly two hours late home. This isn't the first time I've done this. FML

#19953663
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16791) - you deserved it (8268)

On 07/18/2012 at 4:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32604) - you deserved it (4115)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13117) - you deserved it (24627)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42190) - you deserved it (5131)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43393) - you deserved it (14499)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19946) - you deserved it (93898)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

#2401782
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59759) - you deserved it (13438)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML

#2230053
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11621) - you deserved it (54878)

On 05/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by Clueless (woman) - United States



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