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About MrsPegg : I love reading about poor souls and their sh*tty days. Priding myself on taking joy out of others misery. Been on FML for a while now and am currently in a psychiatric program for my severe and utter intolerance to bullshit.
For those who like to use FML as a dating platform: I like guns, fast cars, whiskey, sex, horror/thriller/action movies, long walks on the beach, deep/intellectual conversation and roses.
Side note: Hopefully you'll know and see that 99% of the time I'm being sarcastic.
How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?
You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents, who I haven't known very long. I ended up falling asleep. That doesn't sound so bad, until I woke my drooling self up by snoring extremely loud. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML
Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML
Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML
Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend of 3 years in his living room when a girl barges in, sees us, and screams "I knew it!" then rushes out. My boyfriend gets up, grabs his pants and while chasing after her yells "baby she's nothing, you know I only love you!" FML
Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML
Friday 22 May 2015