Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About MrsPegg : I love reading about poor souls and their sh*tty days. Priding myself on taking joy out of others misery while lessening mine. Been on FML for a while now and am currently in a psychiatric program for my severe and utter intolerance to bullsh*t.
Most of the time I'm joking or being an internet therapist. Use your own judgement to decide which one I am...
I don't check my messages too often, but PM if you wanna.
I also will give a fuck, for a fuck. Fucks for fucks sake. Just shoot me a fucking message if you want one, because I can't keep up with the fucking profile views on the app I use. Also, I sometimes give a Fuck but it disappears, so let me know if I owe you one.
If you've read down this far, I hope you have a good day and that FML made your FML just a tad bit less FMLy.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?
You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!
Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML
Today, I was getting ready to perform a speech in anthropology on the globalization of public transportation and how it brings cultures together. On the bus ride there, the girls behind me were discussing ways to hide their track marks after injecting. FML
Today, my grandparents came to visit. So far, they have called me fat, bragged about how my cousin is better than me, and told me how I'm not good enough for them. It's okay, though, they gave me a pretzel from the airline and a textbook on physics. In another language. FML
Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML
Tuesday 24 November 2015