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Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6339) - you deserved it (54572)
On 04/27/2009 at 6:04pm - animals - by silentbutdeadly (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend of two years, who is a fabulous guitarist and singer, told me he wrote me a song. I was so excited. Turns out it was a break up song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51657) - you deserved it (2739)
On 04/27/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I colored my hair. It was supposed to turn out blonde, but it became more a mix of red and brown and blonde patches. When I tried coloring everything back, a green tint was added. My hair is at the moment red, brown, blonde and green. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31847) - you deserved it (27380)
On 04/27/2009 at 2:39pm - misc - by Fmyhair (woman) - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, my boyfriend was wearing a new shirt he had bought over the weekend. It was really cute and I always borrow his shirts so I asked to borrow his new one. He replied with, "Okay but please don't stretch this one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40570) - you deserved it (12009)
On 04/27/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19176) - you deserved it (94006)
On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking for the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41342) - you deserved it (10240)
On 04/26/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by ahhnotoy (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62414) - you deserved it (40205)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln - United States (Ohio)
Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45334) - you deserved it (9719)
On 04/25/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by crashednowcrushed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14232) - you deserved it (43288)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:51pm - work - by Kylene (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62914) - you deserved it (7382)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by snotface (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46359) - you deserved it (2382)
On 04/23/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by Kate (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I sent my boyfriend of three and a half years a text message spilling my heart out, saying I'll love him forever, and how much I appreciate him in my life, that I want to be the mother of his children, etc. His text back to me? "Are you drunk?!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23057) - you deserved it (50679)
On 04/23/2009 at 9:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17995) - you deserved it (73295)
On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63068) - you deserved it (12483)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by BerryRockstar (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96809) - you deserved it (3537)
On 04/21/2009 at 9:48am - animals - by lylethomes15 (man) - United States (Maine)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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