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Today, I let my 5 year-old niece walk my 3 month-old husky puppy while I watched. I didn't realize how strong my puppy actually is until she took off running while dragging my niece with her. My niece now has two busted up knees and chin and her mother is now calling my puppy "demon puppy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29396) - you deserved it (19123)
On 05/13/2009 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my cell phone rang while I was still asleep. I picked it up, half asleep, only to find it was a wrong number from some guy. Three minutes later I receive a text message saying "Hey, you sound cute..." from the same number. I looked to see if he was local. I'm that desperate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46027) - you deserved it (7233)
On 05/13/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by paprgrl421 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71296) - you deserved it (3218)
On 05/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by chaos2007 - United States (Texas)
Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37383) - you deserved it (8985)
On 05/12/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by getyourownbike (woman) - United States
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50266) - you deserved it (12054)
On 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82662) - you deserved it (3656)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer I ended up in bed with one of them who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9094) - you deserved it (61010)
On 05/12/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Permafucked (woman) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66220) - you deserved it (8186)
On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66220) - you deserved it (8186)
On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I installed high performance brakes on my car after fearing that my old brake system was to weak and I could get into a crash. On the test drive a car in front of me stopped short. My new brakes worked, the ones on the car behind me didn't. I now have whiplash and a totalled car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40060) - you deserved it (2131)
On 05/11/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Lex (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I decided I didn't care about my pride, and so I asked this girl out in a text. After an hour of no responce I asked again. Later I got a text saying, "I'm sorry, This is Emily's mom. Emily isn't here at the moment, but if I were you, I wouldn't ask again." I was rejected by her mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43782) - you deserved it (11848)
On 05/11/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by ConnorFails (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while powerwashing my deck, a bee flew and landed on my leg. Thinking I'd just wash it away before it stings me, I aimed the powerwasher nozzle at the bee. A bee sting isn't nearly as painful as powerwashing your leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8716) - you deserved it (59514)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:39pm - work - by jokada (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I told my parents that I was going out with my boyfriend and they agreed to let me go as long as I was home by midnight. Did I come home on time? Yes. Was my shirt right side out? No. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18146) - you deserved it (85393)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:25pm - intimacy - by insideout (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (342095) - you deserved it (40726)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65011) - you deserved it (6426)
On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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