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MrTwarner

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MrTwarner

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 202
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MrTwarner : I'm a ginger!

MrTwarner's page activity

Visits<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 2:25pm

MrTwarner's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of MrTwarner's badges

MrTwarner's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

#20692668
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64667) - you deserved it (3495)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (5319)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36043) - you deserved it (2763)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28502) - you deserved it (18472)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46214) - you deserved it (5620)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28055) - you deserved it (2363)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48532) - you deserved it (4682)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

#20431269
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39179) - you deserved it (3015)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

#19250410
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32851) - you deserved it (4948)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20884) - you deserved it (17873)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19568) - you deserved it (3135)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

#18673458
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (2264)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

#18670300
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (2975)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML

#18650275
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24094) - you deserved it (3555)

On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35898) - you deserved it (6359)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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